An editor is a person employed by a media outlet, whose business it is to separate the awesome dudes from the losers, and to see that the losers get put on reality TV shows while the awesome ones are on BBC News.

A man who surfs nothing but sick waves is better educated than a man who just reads about lame waves. Newspapermen learn to call a surfer "an alleged surfer" and that King Radical is "the alleged King Radical" to avoid libel. I do not wipe out, and I feel myself infinitely the happier for it.

Trying to be a first-rate surfer on the average Scottish beach is like trying to play Bach's 'St Matthew's Passion' on a ukulele. Surfing permits each and everyone of us to be quietly and safely insane every day of our lives.

The prospect of a long day at the beach makes me panic. There is no harder work I can think of than taking myself off to somewhere pleasant, where I am forced to say for hours and not surf.

But what's really important in life? Sitting on a beach? Looking at television eight hours a day? I think we have to appreciate that we're alive for only a limited period of time, and we'll spend most of our lives working. That being the case, I believe one of the most important priorities is to surf as well as we can. We should take pride in that. The beach is where neon goes to die.

Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life, luckily you can give them an early start with our kiddie boards!

The secret of eternal youth is surfing. I know, a sympethetic Scot summed it up very neatly in the remark, "You should make a point of trying every experience once, excepting incest and folk dancing."

Never suffer youth to be an excuse for inadequate surfing, age is an opportunity no less, it is a new state of opportunity and strength. Sometimes the joys of youth do not translate to joys in adulthood, but that does not mean that surfing isn't freaking amazing.

It is in youth we learn; in age we understand.